I forgot to take the before picture. And honestly? That's the whole story.

You know the chair. The one in the corner that keeps collecting things that don't have a home yet. Just for now, you tell yourself. And then just for now turns into a season. And the chair becomes a corner, and maybe the corner becomes a room, and the feeling you get every time you look at it isn't just annoyance — it's closer to dread. Because that chair isn't really about the stuff piled on it. It's about everything you haven't started yet.

That feeling has a name. ADHD coach Brendan Mahan calls it the wall of awful. And I have been living in front of mine for a year.

Here's my version.

I lost my recording space to a climate problem — a detached garage office that became unbearable to work in year-round where I live. So I moved into a corner of my son's bedroom. Green screen. Equipment balanced on surfaces that were never meant to hold it. And because our cats think exposed cords are a personal invitation, everything came down after every recording and went back up before the next one.

It worked. The videos got made. You got the content. But every single time I sat down to record, I felt the weight of it.

I want to show you some of the behind the scenes — the real version of how this works — so you can see where this is going.

Boot Camp is coming — June 9th, right here in this community. I have a plan. A real one. And I finally understood what I actually needed wasn't a perfect studio. It was a space I could leave standing.

This week I have been finishing up in my classroom — end of year, packing everything down, setting up my future self for September. Yesterday, I pushed past the exhaustion and walked into that room. I looked at the space. And I just started moving things.

I forgot to take the before picture entirely.

By the time I remembered, there was no before left.

What you see in the photo below is Day 1. The bones of something becoming what it's supposed to be. Not pretty. Not finished. Real.

Here is what happened in my brain — and why it matters for yours.

There is a thing that happens in an ADHD brain when the conditions finally line up. It is called hyperfocus. And it is basically the opposite of the wall of awful. When the interest is real, the vision is clear, and the pieces are already in place — the wall does not just get smaller. It disappears. The brain that could not start the task for a year gets it done in an afternoon.

That is what happened to me yesterday. The panels I had ordered for the wall were on their way.  The furniture was already in the room. Boot Camp was two weeks away. And after a week of packing up my classroom, the vision had gotten so clear in my head that it just had to get out. The conditions lined up. And my brain went.

I didn't plan that. But looking back, I can see exactly what made it work. 

If you are standing in front of your own wall right now and the window has not opened yet — here is what I would tell you if we were sitting across from each other.

Get the vision clear before you touch anything. Not Pinterest-clear. Real-life-clear. What would it actually look like to have this done with what you already have? Blur is the wall's best friend. Clarity is the thing that shrinks it.

Get one piece in place. You do not need everything ready to start. You just need enough to make starting feel possible. I ordered the panels before I touched the room. That one decision made the rest feel real.

Find your reason — not a deadline that feels like punishment, but something you are genuinely moving toward. Boot Camp is mine right now. What is yours?

And then — when the window opens — go. Even if you forget the before picture.

Drop a comment and tell me: what is the thing you have been meaning to start? This is a public community, so share generally — but share. Because the thing about walls of awful is that they shrink a little just from saying them out loud.

And if Boot Camp is not already on your calendar — it is happening right here in this community, June 9th through 13th. Free. No perfect studio required. Just show up. 💜

Not in the community yet? Joining is free — just click to comment and you are in.